So now, you guys all know our secret. I, Me, Mike, the raddest dude with the raddest attitude (raditude?) write most of our posts. Carney just mainly drinks a metric shit-ton and tells me that I should try this or that and write about it. I’m sick of him taking all the credit! So, here it is. This is what Carney’s contribution to TBR usually looks like – before I can get my hands on it. I would recommend reading them side by side, for comparison. Find the good version HERE.
WHY I AM BETTER THAN ALL THESE OTHER BLOGGERS.
That one guy that writes the doggie blog had this idea to post about how to post and I thought it was fun and I was too drunk to take notes on the last beer I drank so I’m doing this.
Oh yeah, and that other dude totally ripped him off before me but whatever, I’m rolling with it. Here’s how I write a post!
I only have to post once a week on Thursdays. Most of the time I only just got my last one in, so I spend this night drinking a lot because I have a three day weekend that starts on Thursdays and who doesn’t drink when the weekend gets here, amirite? xD lol! So basically I re-read my post eight times and finish off a few six packs and laugh at how funny I am.
MAN Mike’s posts are kind of lame and serious and stoopid and hes dumb HA!
Ineed 2 poast oon the dogggie bloog abuot I liek fun tihngs.
Woah, tihs beer hs lkie 831328322aoshh8f2 durnckmaeaking. i liake hradeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
iddd b 2too fnnny taht brigfooot n cee mnoster makje brreer toaghether HAHAHAHAHAHLOLOLOLLOLLLOOOOL!11!
*Editor’s Note: I will not reproduce it, but Friday was just a 2 page long block of the f-bomb in all caps with no spaces. I learned from a text that Carney had a massive hangover and was not happy about it*
I fackin’ hate this day. I can’t drink until my wife is pleased that I have completed all the dumbass chores she has for me. Heh, get this – she asked me to mow the lawn, so I totally took the lawnmower straight through her flower garden! I claimed that it “got away from me” and she totally believed it! Sucker.
She was pretty still pretty pissed about it, so I went to Home Depot to get her some new flowers, but instead I bought a chainsaw to open my beers with. No seriously! Check this shit out!
She was also pretty pissed I bought a $400 saw to open my beer. oops?
I hate work. I hate it so much. I would love it if I could drink, but I can’t, and seriously, I GET SO PISSED OIFF THAT RAAAAAAAAAGHERDioaowi oiawo aokslawiieyr kwl; woiej awoiiuhuiw zzuwnijnda wi uahoiu wiueiu w iuaia lwkjei uwbniun diufnaiu wunewiua.
Mike sucks. I hate his stupid posts. Who cares if they get all our views. they still suck the big lebowski. man, I love that movie. I think I need to make a white russian flavored beer, or at least drink a white russian AND a beer at the same time… I’ll get back to you on that!
DO NOT DRINK WHITE RUSSIAN IPAS. MY BRAIN IS DEAD. Good thing I have meetings all day, so I can just go home and fall asleep in lounger with half of my first case unfinished.
SHIT. SHIT SHIT. I need to write a post! Uh… ok…
Put some funny things about beer. use quote sfrom some movies such as office space, field of dreams, uh… office space. Yeah, that’s good. Man, this post rules!
*Editor’s Note: Carney then texts me a string of insults over the next three hours about how his post is so much better than mine.*
Mike texted me. He says he doesn’t like it when I rag on him all the time. Wuss. Fine, whatever, MIKE, go ahead and edit this if you think you can do any better than ME!
I bet everyone will be so impressed with MY blog post.
WAY more than with Mike!